Unravel

I recently had an experience where I found myself beginning to unravel, mentally, emotionally, and physically.  I felt I was just coming apart, in many ways.  I was losing my mind, could not remember little things at times, I was sullen for days, I made mistakes at work, I stayed in bed when ever I could, and my body broke down too. I was a walking zombie.  I just could not function.  I suddenly had just too much to do and could not handle it all.  I had taken on too much for too long.

It started with many more migraines than usual.  Then I developed a UTI, followed immediately by bronchitis, needing lots of meds including steroids.  I missed three days of work, and was sick with that for three weeks.  I needed the family to pitch in more than ever.  I realized that I had not been taking care of ME.  I had tended to everyone else’s needs, and never mine.  I just ran myself ragged, handling a ton of stress, which I won’t go into here (for that would be a novel the size of all the Harry Potter books).  That stress built up and knocked me down with all else I had to take care of in my life.  Enough is enough said my body and mind.

Why is it that we allow ourselves to get to the breaking point before we get help, accept help, or start to take care of ourselves?  We completely unravel before we realize it’s too late, then we need someone else to show us how to roll back up into one nice ball of yarn that can function properly and orderly once again.

I see myself as a roller.  I have ups and downs, highs and lows.  Lately more downs, or lows, than ups, or highs.  The tough part is that my highs are way high, and my lows are way low.  My lows seem to stick around for longer too.   This unraveling has allowed me a chance to see that I need to try to find a middle ground somewhere, and catch those lows and highs before they get past that middle, and stop it right there in it’s tracks.  Keeping myself balanced.  It would be nice to not be a roller.  I can hope can’t I?

Maybe you have learned something here, take care of yourself before it’s too late.  It’s OK to take time out for you, just you.  It’s not selfish.  It’s what your body and mind need, and it is OK to let others help you or to ask for help.  Also, you are not alone if you too at a roller like me!  Good luck, hang in there, one day at a time, one moment at a time…

Photo courtesy of Pixabay via CC

Advertisements