So I just turned 50.  It wasn’t so bad.  My husband threw me a huge, lovely surprise party with wonderful friends, family, cousins. I actually enjoyed turning 50.  I embraced it, had fun.  I felt special.  That is, until I noticed that my clothes weren’t fitting.  At first I chalked it up to just gaining a couple of pounds and figured I could always get the scale back down.  I mean, who doesn’t fluctuate in weight by a couple of pounds here and there anyway, right?  I’ve done that for the last two years, though now that I look back, in all that up and downing, the scale tended to remain more up than down.

This weight thing has really been a slow creeping up on me process that I have chosen to ignore I suppose.  Though now it has gotten worse.  It is not so much the weight, but my shape.  My clothes actually don’t fit, as much as I hate to admit this in public.  Heck I will share if it helps others come to grips with turning 50 gracefully.  I can no longer button most of my pants.  There is a wide gap – like the grand canyon – separating the button from the button hole.  What’s with that?  And to top it off the pants are just tight all around.  I have been in denial and shock for days.  I keep trying the pants on every few days, hoping for a different result.  I think I eat fairly healthy, though I no longer exercise really and that could be a problem.  I do enjoy a nice drink or two on the weekend.  Who doesn’t?  I’m an adult and like to relax.  I’ve earned that, right?

In my mind I have been battling between wanting to go on a huge diet – giving up sweets (which I don’t have a huge amount of as it is) and carbs (gotta have some) and trying to lose say 10 pounds, OR, just accepting that this is where I am at in life – 50 – and that my body has changed (menoapuse?) and go with it.

Well today I had my beautiful, talented, fashion savvy daughter go shopping with me to get me new pants.  I have decided to embrace who I am, I want to feel good and look good.  I can’t fight it anymore.  I can’t pretend I am something or someone I am not.  And guess what?  It’s ok.  It’s more than ok.  It’s better than ok.  It’s beautiful.  To accept me for who I am, and go with it, and find happiness where I am at and realize that it is not size that matters but what is inside that counts, and how I feel that matters….that is what it is all about.  That is what makes happiness.  That is what will allow me to go on and live each day to it’s fullest and to be the real me.  I love who I am and I’m going to just live my life as I am.  Take me or leave me.  If you leave me, you were never meant to be in my life anyway!

So if you are 50, or close to 50, or over 50, take it on sista.  Embrace it.  Savor it.  Accept it.  Accept YOU.  Go with it.  Ride the wave.  Enjoy YOU and live your life to the fullest, have fun.  Life is too short.  Buy the shoes and drink the wine!