All that I said And left unsaid I am sure you heard. But yet we pretend; Lest we offend And have to defend, Actions or words To self or others And ruffle any feathers. Source: Heard
A repost from another blogger
Criticize (The Daily Post)
Who is he to criticize me
Each time he does, I lose a piece of me
I shrink, losing my self esteem
Then I think It’s me that’s wrong
Not him that’s mean
So I accept the blame, and make the change
Try to do better, exactly how he wants
Though sadly my efforts are never in his range
So here comes it comes again
The criticism of everything I’ve done
Beaten down I am, I want to give up
I have no more to give, it’s clear he has won
God help me now, where do I go?
These emotional bruises no one can see
Too bad he doesn’t hit, for then others would know
Time to run, have to flee
Holding onto hope that the real me is still there
I’m going to find her, out there somewhere…
Photo by bravelittlebird I just want to be happy License
So we got a snow day, first one of the year. By this time last year we had already used at least two. This one was predicted, but honestly hard to believe. Yesterday the temperature reached 60, and as of 2:00 this morning there was no snow. All the schools had made the call to close yesterday, yes that’s right, yesterday. Blizzard was coming they said!
Well when we got up this morning, or I got up (late!) there was at least 9 inches on the ground. Surprise! They were right. I had some doubts since many years ago they called off school the day ahead because of a huge storm that was predicted, and the next day there was not a drop of snow! Add to that the fact that the temperature was so high yesterday.
Mother Nature has certainly been thrown off her rocker, perhaps by global warning? Who knows. I am just grateful for the snow day, a chance to do a little straightening up, catch up on my shows, perhaps nap, hang with my family, and play with the dog.
Life is good. Enjoy!
Photo by Brigid Victorson 2/9/17
To be or not to be….alone
We all need our space
Sometimes alone is what we crave, no
It’s what we need, a respite from it all
At times our world spins too fast
We need to get off the speeding train
Sometimes we lead that train, at others we drag behind
To keep our health, learn the difference
Know when to jump
Solitude, quiet, time to think
Be with just yourself
Come to like being with just you
Appreciate your time with others after time alone
Then begin anew
Be ready for companionship, camaraderie,
Photo courtesy of João Lavinha CC
“I can’t go back.” That’s what she said….It was time for my daughter, a freshman in college, to return to school after Christmas break. Four weeks is a long time to be away from your first experience living away from home for so long. Well, my daughter went to school close enough to come home often the first semester, but that usually isn’t the case. Anyway, she went into crisis mode two days before she was to return to her dorm and to college life. She revealed to us that she had been stewing about not wanting to continue in her major and just couldn’t face going back. What a shock. We had no idea, none. She never let on that anything was wrong. She had done well academically, seemed to enjoy her classes (or so we thought). We did know she was having some difficulty adjusting to the college life. Making friends was not so easy, her living situation was not so conducive to making new friends (quad style living is not so social after all), the cafeteria had little she could eat (she’s gluten intolerant), and it’s tiny, and being a city school it is kind of bleak. Wow, I sure do paint a great picture huh?
Last weekend was rough to say the least. My husband was away with my son on top of it all, so it was just me on the front lines dealing with my poor girl in crisis. She didn’t know what she would turn around and study, and the day after I drove to the city and packed her room up with her (I thought the car would bust) she instantly panicked that she made the wrong decision. She just could not make up her mind. She was so confused. Is it any wonder? These poor kids are faced with deciding the rest of their lives at 18. I know we did too, but this predicament explains why so many kids come home freshman year, or change colleges or majors several times. I had to help her understand that what she was experiencing was actually okay and a normal part of the growing process. I was proud of her for being strong enough to realize that she wasn’t happy and for doing something about it instead of sticking it out miserably to just make us happy or because of what others may think. These kids have to take care of their needs and do what is good for them. Sometimes that means stepping back, taking a break, and giving themselves time to just figure it all out.
That’s what she is doing now. She has already started a class at a local college and secured a job at a retail store in the mall that will keep her busy. She is so much happier now at home with time to figure her future out, and that makes my heart happy. All we want as parents is for our kids to be safe and happy.
Sleep, I always need more
Why is that, I wonder?
What ever I get
Is never enough
I slog through each day
Barely doing what I need to get done
Sometimes I am productive
At other times I’m not
To lay down and sleep is all I want
Just let me be
I don’t know why I feel so tired
But please let me sleep
It’s something I just need
I have had days where I get up
And just go, go, go
It’s at those times that I feel up to par
Just like my old self
Back again from the dead and ready to live
Life is to short to sleep it all away.
I can only hope that the change I see and sense
Is here to stay
And I live my life to its fullest,
Enjoying every minute of every day.
Successful, something we all hope to be
But what defines success
Is different for all
Success can be something big or small
When you reach that state, euphoric you will be
Maybe you learned to walk again
Perhaps you ran a marathon
Supposed you landed that dream job right out of college
Earned a second masters, filling your head with knowledge
Success is not given, not offered or handed out
It is something you earn by working hard
Until you have reached it no doubt
So keep at it my friend, never give up
Success will bring you happiness and joy,
Or is it the other way around?
Is it happiness and joy that lead you to be successful?
Whichever the case, don’t stop until you are there.
It’s not having what you want, It’s wanting what you have.
And I would bet that you already have it….
Success will be yours if only you try
Keep going, keep going, reach for the sky
Privacy. Such an important concept, now more than ever. Consider all the various places where we have less privacy, or more chances to lose our privacy. The internet has so many. In today’s world we function primarily via technology; computers, internet, cell phone. We rarely call someone we need to contact, we text them. We don’t have to fly to visit someone, we can face time them. Many of us use Facebook to keep tabs on what friends and family are up to, or Instagram, Snapchat, Linked In. We have instant access to dinner reservations via Open Table. Two day delivery of almost anything we need via Amazon, or shoes via Zappos. Whatever you need it can be found on the internet. No one needs to leave home actually. Wow – so they can be as private as they want or need in their own home, sounds good right? NOT
All of those internet tools I mentioned above come with a price; lack of privacy. Our information is out there, like it or not. Oh they say they keep our information private, but do they really? There are many hackers out there. How many times have we heard of major stores or companies systems being hacked and all their customers’ credit cards were jeopardized? Perhaps that affected you, or someone you knew. It could be you next time.
Privacy. As we advance in technology, we decrease our level of privacy. Ever heard of drones? Drones with cameras? How about video cameras everywhere? Residential homes, every store, businesses, schools. Many for good reasons, but we are all being watched, everywhere, all the time. There is little opportunity for privacy, unless in your own home. I supposed that is the price we must pay for safety? When does one outweigh the other? Will the scale ever tip too much in one direction? I fear so. Privacy
So I just turned 50. It wasn’t so bad. My husband threw me a huge, lovely surprise party with wonderful friends, family, cousins. I actually enjoyed turning 50. I embraced it, had fun. I felt special. That is, until I noticed that my clothes weren’t fitting. At first I chalked it up to just gaining a couple of pounds and figured I could always get the scale back down. I mean, who doesn’t fluctuate in weight by a couple of pounds here and there anyway, right? I’ve done that for the last two years, though now that I look back, in all that up and downing, the scale tended to remain more up than down.
This weight thing has really been a slow creeping up on me process that I have chosen to ignore I suppose. Though now it has gotten worse. It is not so much the weight, but my shape. My clothes actually don’t fit, as much as I hate to admit this in public. Heck I will share if it helps others come to grips with turning 50 gracefully. I can no longer button most of my pants. There is a wide gap – like the grand canyon – separating the button from the button hole. What’s with that? And to top it off the pants are just tight all around. I have been in denial and shock for days. I keep trying the pants on every few days, hoping for a different result. I think I eat fairly healthy, though I no longer exercise really and that could be a problem. I do enjoy a nice drink or two on the weekend. Who doesn’t? I’m an adult and like to relax. I’ve earned that, right?
In my mind I have been battling between wanting to go on a huge diet – giving up sweets (which I don’t have a huge amount of as it is) and carbs (gotta have some) and trying to lose say 10 pounds, OR, just accepting that this is where I am at in life – 50 – and that my body has changed (menoapuse?) and go with it.
Well today I had my beautiful, talented, fashion savvy daughter go shopping with me to get me new pants. I have decided to embrace who I am, I want to feel good and look good. I can’t fight it anymore. I can’t pretend I am something or someone I am not. And guess what? It’s ok. It’s more than ok. It’s better than ok. It’s beautiful. To accept me for who I am, and go with it, and find happiness where I am at and realize that it is not size that matters but what is inside that counts, and how I feel that matters….that is what it is all about. That is what makes happiness. That is what will allow me to go on and live each day to it’s fullest and to be the real me. I love who I am and I’m going to just live my life as I am. Take me or leave me. If you leave me, you were never meant to be in my life anyway!
So if you are 50, or close to 50, or over 50, take it on sista. Embrace it. Savor it. Accept it. Accept YOU. Go with it. Ride the wave. Enjoy YOU and live your life to the fullest, have fun. Life is too short. Buy the shoes and drink the wine!